:) 〈人性的弱点〉作者：戴尔．卡奈基 Part IV
【第十四章 】：温和地说话
假如一个人和你意见有冲突、对你无好感、你就是搬出所有的逻辑学来、也不能使他赞同你的意见。好责骂的父母和惯作威作福的上司、同丈夫吵闹不休的妻子、都应当知道、没有人愿意改变心意的。
人们不会被迫赞同你或我的意见。但假如我们很和谐、谦逊的诱导他们、却可使他
们赞同。
If a man's heart is rankling with discord and ill feeling towards you, you can't win him to your way of thinking with all the logic in Christendom.
Scolding parents and domineering bosses and husbands and nagging wives
ought to realize that people don't want to change their minds.
They can't be forced or driven to agree with you or me. But they may possibly
be led to, if we are gentle and friendly, ever so gentle and ever so friendly.
一滴蜜所捉的苍蝇、比一加仑毒汁捉的更多。这是一句古老真实的格言。对人也是如此、假如你想让别人赞同你的理由、首先要使他信任你是他的好朋友。那就是可以捉住他的心一滴蜜；那也是一滴引导他走上理智道路的蜜。
It is an old and true maxim that ' a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.' So with men, if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart;which, say you will, is the great high road to his reason.
风吹和太阳:) 的神话、风吹和太阳争执谁的力量大、风说道：「我能证明我的力量大、看、地下正走着一个老人、身披大衣、我能比你更快使他把大脱下来。于是太阳躲进乌云里、风使出他的威力猛吹、但是风吹得愈大、那老人愈用力拉紧他的大衣。
最后风力尽了、停止了。太阳从云彩走出来、开始对著那老人和气的笑。不久那老人便用手拭他前额的汗并将大衣脱下。」
太阳于是对风说道：「仁慈和友善远比愤怒和强暴更为有力」
※※※仁爱友善的亲近和赞许、比用火暴攻击的方法更容易改变别人的心意※※※
The sun and the wind, quarreled about which was the stronger ? and the wind
said : ' I will prove I am. see the old man down there with the coat? I bet I can get his coat off him quicker than you can'
So the sun went behind a cloud, and the wind blew until it was almost a tornado, but the harder the wind blew, the tighter the old man clutched his coat to him. Finally, the wind calmed down and gave up, and then the sun came out from behind the clouds smiled kindly on the old man. Presently, he mopped his brow and pulled off his coat.
The sun then told the wind that
gentleness and friendliness were always stronger than fury and force.
※※※Kindliness, the friendly approach, and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the
world※※※
【第十五章 】：让人说「是」的秘诀;)
与人谈话时、开头不要讨论你们意见不同的事。而着重你们彼此赞同的事情。如果可能、你更应当郑重的说、你们彼此努力的目的都是一样、所不同的只是方法而不是主张。
「一个（不）字的反应是最难克服的障碍。当一个人说（不）时、所有他的人格尊严都要他坚持到底。过后他也许自觉说（不）是错了、然而他的尊严当时绝不容他改变！就既然一言出口、就必须坚持。因此和一个人谈话、开始就让他不反对、实在是最要紧的事。」
In talking with other people, don't begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing and keep emphasizing the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.
A ' No ' :eek: response, is a most difficult handicap to overcome. When you have
said 'No' all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself. You may later feel that the 'No' was ill-advised; nevertheless,there is your precious pride to consider! Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it. Hence it si of the very greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction.
一个善于说话的人都是在开端就先获得一些（是）的反应。因此能使他的听众心里迈向于（肯定）这方面。
The skillful speaker gets, at the outset, a number of 'Yes' responses. This sets the psychological process of the listeners moving in the affirmative direction.
